Chapter 11: Exquisite Sexual Mechanics
Warning: This chapter is for a MATURE audience only. It contains adult sexual material.
The soul connection of a relationship is the internal celebration of the spirit, while the ritual of sexual exchange is that same celebration in an external manifestation. There is not much else that can truly compare to the warmth of fire that surges through the body as hearts race, while a fleshy dance of vigorous expression collides between the legs of connected spirits. It is a celebration with which our physical essence is hardwired to desire. This book is entitled “The Universe Within,” which implies that it is only within yourself that you experience it. The exchange of sexual energy is truly the only time in which you get to experience the universe that is within another person in real time, rather than through perspective only. This is evidenced in the moment of climax where a person literally releases a piece of their very genetic makeup through ejaculation, as fireworks explode inside the body and release the life within us through heavy breathing. As you feel yourself inside another person or another person inside of you, there is this purging of energy that is not present in any other experience. Our culture often portrays the sexual experience as a power induced act of degradation and thus perpetuates a sort of standard for the process of sexual mechanics. Ultimately by falling victim to this obsession of specified definitions, you are only cheating yourself for the possibilities of infinite euphoria that you could share and magnify, rather than hoard and suffer.
Sex
“The biological purpose of sex is reproduction. The problem is too many Christians use that to explain why certain sexual activity is sin. There is nothing in the Bible that says a certain sexual activity is a sin because it does not procreate. People can use sex to procreate without being married.
If sex is for reproduction only, why are those sexual yearnings so strong even past the age of reproduction? Humans are very sexual beings whether or not conception is the goal. I agree that love and passion are an important aspect of human sexuality. I read that the only mammals that have sex for pleasure and not just for reproduction are humans and dolphins.
Yet, the facts on the ground undermine this assumption. First, people continue to engage in sex long after they have stopped having children. Often, their sex lives actually get better, because there are no longer worried about unplanned pregnancy (or, a bit later, about Junior popping up bedside mid-action saying he needs to pee).
Which leads us to the following fact: most sex happening right now around the world is not procreative. On the contrary, most of those getting busy at this moment would be shocked and upset to find that their joyful acrobatics have resulted in pregnancy. An intense interest in sex and eroticism is not necessarily linked to heightened interest in producing offspring. In fact, those interests are often inversely related.
Make love, not babies.
Moreover, many sexual behaviors we commonly engage in, even in the fertile years, are not related to reproduction at all. If sex is for reproduction, how is the mechanism of sexual pleasure organized regarding anal or oral sex? And why are you holding hands with your boyfriend? Children do not come of it. Besides, you also hold hands with your three-year-old niece. What’s going on here? And what is reproductive about someone pulling your hair? In fact, why does the business of genital, reproductive pleasure spread to all kinds of remote areas not related to reproduction, such as shoulders (very sexy in the nineteenth century), the neck (sexual attraction in Japanese culture), or breasts (contemporary American obsession)? And if a man has a biological urge to find a good mother for his offspring, why do men routinely differentiate between a ‘sexy’ woman and a ‘motherly’ one, and prefer the former to the latter?
Now you say, “Okay, let’s forget all the biology. Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun.” But that argument is unsatisfactory as well. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure is NOT the most important reason for sexual activity.
Research shows that the physical pleasure of genital stimulation is not necessarily an important component in the decision to have sex. Researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss a few years ago asked 400 students about their reasons for engaging in sex. After processing the data and eliminating similar or identical answers, they were left with a list of 237 different reasons for sex, including “I wanted to give him an STD,” “I felt sorry for him”, “To punish myself”, and “I lost a bet.”
The truth is, many people are having sex right now without pleasure or any expectation of it. If it’s pleasure you want, if you desire a nice orgasm, you’ll get there faster—and cheaper, with more certainty and less risk of pregnancy and disease—through masturbation. So why are you having sex with your partner? And why, when you do masturbate, are you fantasizing about him (or about someone, anyway)?
For many of us, sex and romance aren’t necessarily inextricably linked. Sex is fun, spontaneous and is in its own means and ends. Then there’s the whole lovemaking side of things, where you and your partner are essentially expressing your feelings for each other physically. You’re not always in the mood for “feelings sex” — sometimes you just want to get it on.
ANSWER: Western society sometimes collapses these concepts to mean the same thing. We want romance with sex – and we want sex with romance – but they are different. It’s when we get both that we are most happy!
Let’s start with sex. Sexuality can mean sex with yourself, sex with a stranger, sex with a friend without love, sex with love, sex with romance, and any number of other combinations – still, it’s sex.
Romance can be defined as adventure, a new relationship, excitement, fascination with someone that may or may not be real, exotic, out of the ordinary special treatment, and intense, often short-lived love affairs. The definition of “romance” in the Webster’s dictionary includes four, out of a total of twelve, references to love. The other eight definitions refer to writing and telling stories, imaginative tales or invented, fictionalized ephemeral adventures – romance novels, with sex added in.
Sex is not only for reproduction. That would be very boring. We would only be having sex, what, once or twice, maybe three times in our life… if any at all. That would stink. It is a joining of our bodies and celebration of our union together. It is for pleasure and for enjoyment. Reproduction is only a part of it.
“Our narrow understanding of sex solely as a means of reproduction fails to acknowledge that it serves as a method of forming social bonds as well.” – Unknown
MANTRAS
Being sexy is in my DNA. I don’t try, I just am.
QUOTES TO LIVE BY
The 1st prerequisite to GREAT SEX is GREAT HEALTH.
“There’s no sex worth dying for.” – Charles Smith Jr.
“History shows us it will NEVER go away DESPITE suppression,
the demon of lust NEVER went away throughout history.”- Unknown
“Lustful behavior CONTINUES underground/behind closed doors despite (sometimes hypocritical) suppression, we’re hard wired.” – Charles W. Smith III
Attraction is not a choice.
People make it obvious when they need to connect, just watch and listen.
CONDOMS are a chore too, BUT WITH CONDOMS we can relax and enjoy the sensation more knowing we won’t regret it later. Keep your mind, body and spirit in harmony.
“There’s no sex worth dying for.”- Charles W. Smith Jr.
Untamed and Unashamed.